Stop with the negativity!

Haha.. So yeah.. I think i should already stop with all this negativity. I am now very much eager to start working and to once again, start my job hunt. though i am still in davao, i’ll still make the best out of it. If by September, i still won’t be able to find a job related to my field, i think that will be the time i’ll go back to manila. For now, i already have lots of mini-jobs in mind. A lot of freelance offers are on my plate right now. So i guess i should really just do it. I will find a job, and a good one at that.  

Blood and Connections

There are times that i wish that i was born rich.. Be one of them heirs of big companies and massive areas of land. Not having problems in the future and always getting to live life to its moment not having any worries or woes. Get to be where i want to be and have every possible opportunity at a snap of my fingers. Some of you reading this might say that i am lazy.. Someone who wants to live life the easy way.. oh well. but that’s life.. and these are one of my lapses. 

Again and Again.

i feel shitty these days. Still don’t have a job.. Still don’t have any direction in life. I wonder when i’ll start working? i actually plan to work for about a year or two.. then after that i would get a scholarship in photography, maybe new york or singapore. Gawd.. How i wish it were that easy. I just want to achieve something. I really feel that I haven’t been able to achieve anything. Even my college degree just seems as if it’s a joke.

I’m actually recalling one of the exams i took for a job.. actually, all the exams that i recently took for a job, i can honestly say that i didn’t do my best in all of them. I actually gave up before i even started answering the exam. When i tried to answer the exams, there was this nostalgic feeling that didn’t excite me at all whenever i’d try to program.. But this is one of the ways that i can earn money… and i still don’t know any other way aside from it. 

Maybe

I’m now in manila.. and i’m still not looking for a job. haha.. sort of not looking for one because i’m still going back to davao, which actually hinders me from submitting my applications fully to all the companies that i know of here in manila. I actually don’t know if Computer Science is really the course that i should’ve taken. Now, i’m very much happy not having to program anything. It’s like I really can’t imagine myself doing behind the desk jobs my whole life… But like what i said in my previous posts, this is actually my most visible stepping stone. 

On the lighter side of my life, i’m now addicted to cinnamon swirls of starbucks. Which only cost 55 pesos.. and it’s really good! almost cinnabon like.. I’m craving for one now… yumm!!!!! 

not getting there

i’m still not getting to where i want to be… gawd. 

i felt really stupid a while ago.. I wasted an opportunity. no good.. no good at all!

I’m pissed with myself. errr!! 

Internet-ing

Ok. I have lots of things to do.. But procrastinating is already a hobby. LOL. yeah. i know.. I’m trying to change that. 

Since I’ve been procrastinating for over a month now, i’m reading blogs of other people… Even blogs of strangers. haha.. I also re-read my blog.. and i actually found an emo-themed post that I can’t remember for whom i wrote it to. So.. Yeah. It supports my conclusion that I can easily move on. Which is good.. in some ways.. hehe..

I’m also just on facebook. As we all know, facebook is a bored-person’s friend. So yes! thank you facebook… and yes, friendster is already very, very, very, very lame. haha

 Gawd! i don’t have anything to write about.. Oh.. lemme tell you about my day. So i went out with my mom.. We were looking for shoes for her maid-of-honor thing.  We saw lots of cute ones. But she was still undecided on what to buy. She even told me earlier that she wants to have her still unfinished dress re-done. LOL. oh well… Because of my mom’s finicky attitude towards the shoes i got bored telling her that what she tried on already looked nice.. So i went-on looking for clothes — for myself this time. Hehe.. and i found a nice shirt (?) i really don’t know if it’s a shirt or a jacket.. or something. It’s just really simple and it was 50% off! haha.. so i had my mom buy it.. and she got pissed because i already have lots of clothes bla bla bla.. and i really think that she got pissed was that she wasn’t able to buy anything and i got to buy something. haha.. 

Well, that’s my day. *bow* 

Ok.. Nothing’s Happening

Yeah, so my last post, i said that i was already going to be blogging again.. yet, there’s really nothing to blog about. I’m still jobless.. I have an interview on Monday though… but i’m not expecting anything.. hopefully there will be a job offer. 

I felt really sad just now. I felt how far I am from where I want to be. I’m still at the starting line and I haven’t progressed for even just a centimeter. I’m stuck. I can’t lift my feet to start walking… To slowly bring me to my goal.  

It’s quite hard to start everything from scratch. Nothing to build onto. But I really don’t have a choice. I need a paradigm shift. A wake up call. Something to make me move. Something to make me believe that I can reach my goals and more. I’ve been telling myself that I can do it. I actually know that I can do it.. but there’s really something missing… and I can’t put my finger on it.